Never say never

No this isn't a tribute to Justin Bieber...yeah I am lame and know the name of one of his songs.

Crap I have it stuck in my head now.

No this is about how I used to know it all. I knew everything there was to know about kids because let's face it how hard is it to control that damn kid screaming in the store?!

Ha. Ha. Boy was I an idiot.

See what I mean??

I still don't understand the power my children have. Yes they have superpowers. My Squishy Girl has the power of manipulation. And she's good, real good.

Squishy man has the power of melting hearts with his super watt smile even if you are pissed because you have been up all night feeding him through a growth spurt.

But they are best when they work together. They have this double trouble cuteness thing...more about this conspiracy later.

But I remember before I had children I had a list, yes list of "My Child will NEVER/NOT..." Come on, we all had them and at least broke one thing on that list. Well I, my friends, broke every. single. one.

1. My child will NEVER sleep with me.

My $300 crib has been slept in only one night. And not even straight through, I came to this number by adding the amount of time they have each spent in there. My oldest is TWO.

2. My child will NOT have candy until kindergarten.

Halloween happened...what can I say? I would be a mean mom if I had her go around just to collect the candy for us. But we did sacrifice by eating most of it for her.

Plus the damn doctor has a bowl of suckers advertising *throw a fit for me*. It's great because she obviously can't have suckers in the car, and they strategically placed it at the appointment desk. So you get to leave with a pissed off toddler because they can't have the sucker until we are home.

3. My child will NOT have soda.

Okay this one I still believe and it wasn't my fault it was broken...she went all ninja status and attacked the cup.

4. My child will NEVER have a binky past one.

Now this one I did follow, but not by choice. By the time Squishy Girl was one I was begging her to take a pacifier! Hell, I still give her one in hopes of her taking to it...until then both my Squishies think I am the pacifier.

5. My child will NEVER throw a fit in a store.

 Ha! That is all...

6. I will NEVER give my child something just because they are throwing a fit.

To be fair we have only done this once...ok twice, but after she calmed down. So in the middle of writing this we ran to the store and this situation came up over a couple of fake flowers Squishy Girl wanted. This is how it went down:

Daddy: Squishy Girl you can pick one.

Squishy Girl: NO! *Wahhhhhhh!*

Daddy: No, you can only have one *holds them out* which one?

Squishy Girl: *grabs both*

Me: They are fifty cents let's just go.

Squishy girl: *happily running away with her two flowers*

Me: *looks at my husband* We are those parents.

And my all time favorite....

7. I will NEVER EVER EVER be a stay at home mom. Really me stay at home, that would be so boring just sitting on my butt all day, because really what does a stay at home mom do beside clean a little and play.

Boy was I wrong....I have to be honest though. It was pretty easy when all Squishy Girl did was eat and sleep (all of 2 weeks), but I must have been confused and totally skipped the toddler years. Bored Ha. I wish.

I am happy I broke this one, I love being at home with my children. It's hard, but so fun.

Thinking about this I would love to reach through time I slap my naive self. I mean how self centered could I be? How could I judge that mom who is probably tired, starved and sleep deprived...I knew nothing. Hell, I still don't know anything. 

What NEVERS have you broken?

Now for you Bieber fans...

*I will never say never, I will fight till forever...*

Admit it now it's stuck in your head...you're welcome.