Never say never

No this isn't a tribute to Justin Bieber...yeah I am lame and know the name of one of his songs.

Crap I have it stuck in my head now.

No this is about how I used to know it all. I knew everything there was to know about kids because let's face it how hard is it to control that damn kid screaming in the store?!

Ha. Ha. Boy was I an idiot.

See what I mean??

I still don't understand the power my children have. Yes they have superpowers. My Squishy Girl has the power of manipulation. And she's good, real good.

Squishy man has the power of melting hearts with his super watt smile even if you are pissed because you have been up all night feeding him through a growth spurt.

But they are best when they work together. They have this double trouble cuteness thing...more about this conspiracy later.

But I remember before I had children I had a list, yes list of "My Child will NEVER/NOT..." Come on, we all had them and at least broke one thing on that list. Well I, my friends, broke every. single. one.

1. My child will NEVER sleep with me.

My $300 crib has been slept in only one night. And not even straight through, I came to this number by adding the amount of time they have each spent in there. My oldest is TWO.

2. My child will NOT have candy until kindergarten.

Halloween happened...what can I say? I would be a mean mom if I had her go around just to collect the candy for us. But we did sacrifice by eating most of it for her.

Plus the damn doctor has a bowl of suckers advertising *throw a fit for me*. It's great because she obviously can't have suckers in the car, and they strategically placed it at the appointment desk. So you get to leave with a pissed off toddler because they can't have the sucker until we are home.

3. My child will NOT have soda.

Okay this one I still believe and it wasn't my fault it was broken...she went all ninja status and attacked the cup.

4. My child will NEVER have a binky past one.

Now this one I did follow, but not by choice. By the time Squishy Girl was one I was begging her to take a pacifier! Hell, I still give her one in hopes of her taking to it...until then both my Squishies think I am the pacifier.

5. My child will NEVER throw a fit in a store.

 Ha! That is all...

6. I will NEVER give my child something just because they are throwing a fit.

To be fair we have only done this once...ok twice, but after she calmed down. So in the middle of writing this we ran to the store and this situation came up over a couple of fake flowers Squishy Girl wanted. This is how it went down:

Daddy: Squishy Girl you can pick one.

Squishy Girl: NO! *Wahhhhhhh!*

Daddy: No, you can only have one *holds them out* which one?

Squishy Girl: *grabs both*

Me: They are fifty cents let's just go.

Squishy girl: *happily running away with her two flowers*

Me: *looks at my husband* We are those parents.

And my all time favorite....

7. I will NEVER EVER EVER be a stay at home mom. Really me stay at home, that would be so boring just sitting on my butt all day, because really what does a stay at home mom do beside clean a little and play.

Boy was I wrong....I have to be honest though. It was pretty easy when all Squishy Girl did was eat and sleep (all of 2 weeks), but I must have been confused and totally skipped the toddler years. Bored Ha. I wish.

I am happy I broke this one, I love being at home with my children. It's hard, but so fun.

Thinking about this I would love to reach through time I slap my naive self. I mean how self centered could I be? How could I judge that mom who is probably tired, starved and sleep deprived...I knew nothing. Hell, I still don't know anything. 

What NEVERS have you broken?

Now for you Bieber fans...

*I will never say never, I will fight till forever...*

Admit it now it's stuck in your head...you're welcome.

Nap

Nap times are my favorite! Better than bedtime by far, by the time bedtime rolls around I can barely keep my eyes open thus my bedtime is 8 as well. Plus if I want to spend time with my husband I have to drink coffee just to stay awake. Lame, I know.
But nap time is different.

Nap time is around noon and I am wide awake so I can have "me" time. Usually I do the things that have been neglected l like clean, eat, drink water <--I don't drink nearly enough.

But sometimes I just sit my butt down on the computer and get sucked in by its wonders.
Usually Pinterest. Those are the best (albeit fastest) nap times.

But lately squishy girl seems to think she is too old for a nap. I mean she is turning two, and naps are like, so for"one year olds". Hey, she likes to keep up with the latest trends.

But even though she thinks she's too old we all know, well everyone who has a two year old, that this nap is desperately needed. Mostly by me I admit.

Yesterday she went down like usual, and by usual I mean screaming "Nap! B gil bed!" (I am usually nursing little squishy man so I can get him down first). When I get him down 5-10 minutes later (after trying desperately to get her attention with anything within arm's reach, I get lucky and find a dry erase marker in the couch. We don't give them to her very often once she started exercising her creative freedom on my walls, carpet, and couch.)Hence probably no deposit.

So while drawing on herself I can hear her whine "nap, nap"...I put squishy man down and think
                   *Yes! She really is tired! I might get some time to myself.*
Let me back up...squishy girl like I said has been trying to omit her nap. She still takes one and always asks, but 30 minutes tops.

I announce "nap time!" She is excited! She is trying to kiss her brother, who is asleep, cover him up and runs to her room. I follow, nurse her (yes I still nurse my two year old to sleep get over it) and she is out!
Everything is quiet...the dishes are done (I did them in the morning smart right?) I sit my butt down to enjoy some TV...ahhhh...bliss...
I KID YOU NOT, five minutes later squishy girl comes stumbling in the living room whining.

Damn.

I say "You need to go back night night."
*whine*" uh-uh" *some more whining*

Great not only did she not take a nap she is whiny.

The rest of the day is a whine filled blur.

My husband gets home *hooray!* and takes her outside lets her run around. He brings her inside and the meltdown begins. This is what happens when she doesn't take a nap. So I bribe her with a bath...a bubble bath. *whine*" No!...Bath?" *Whine whine* so I put her in a bath..cry, whine, play, laugh. She eats dinner and is ready for bed. By 7:30.

Crap.

Now this may sound nice, but if she goes to bed before 8:30 she will be up by 5:00 AM.

Reluctantly I put her to sleep and wouldn't you know she didn't get up at 5! She decided to grace us with her presence at 3:15 AM.

Sigh...she will now either take a longer nap or we will have to deal with cranky pants until 8:30.
Coffee...I need coffee...

                                            RIP the days when my Squishy girl napped.

No!

It's the word every parent of a toddler cringes at.

Admit it.

Your once adorable baby who could melt your heart at a single coo is now yelling "No!" No to EVERYTHING.

"Let's go take a bath."
"No!"

"Let's go night night."
"No."

"Let's get some ice cream."
"No!"

(I personally think it's hilarious when they say no to something they really want...hee hee).

Well my squishy girl is no different.

What's better is that she likes to change it up, you know keep me on my toes. Instead of just No, she shakes her head and says Uh-uh. Great right? I mean thank goodness she has that or it would get monotonous.

The other morning she gets up and I ask, "Want to watch Mickey?"

*shakes head* "Uh-uh." <--See keeping it fresh!

So I put on Mickey while I make breakfast. I hear her chatting with Mickey and Minnie like they are old friends. They are asking questions and she is answering.

Then Minnie says, "Is this a triangle?"

"No."

"That's right it's a square! Is this a triangle?"

"Yea!"

WAIT, STOP! Did you get that?! YEA...she said YEA! She knows the word! She even knows how to use it!

So I try to get her to say it, see I am excited, I have been trying to get her to say it FOREVER. Does she say it? No.  

 My husband comes home and I tell him excitedly and he is pretty excited too so he says, "Squishy girl say yes."

"No."

"Squishy girl can you say yes?"
                                 (Probably thinking I must have misheard it)
"Yea." See she knows.

 Since then she has not said it. Guess it's only special occasions, or when Minnie or Mickey asks...

It means what?!

Ok so I thought I would be cool and, you know Google my blog.

 BIG mistake.

 Do you know what Squishy love means? You probably do and are giggling at my stupidity. But for those of you, like me, who are not up to date with the hipness of the Urban dictionary it means...THIS

 Yep, true stuff.

 So what do I do? Run to my husband and point this out in disbelief! You may think he acted baffled, Shocked even. No.

 "That's cool."

 That's it. Really? I am over here wondering if people could mistake my blog for soft porn and "it's cool?" That is my husband. (no more explanation needed..trust me it deserves a blog itself).

 So I am faced with the task of deciding whether I want to change my name or leave it. And dammit I am leaving it! Do you realize how long it took me to come up with this name?! And here I thought it was cute, whimsical, one of a kind (especially when the URL address was available).

 So now to the point of the post (which isn't very long). This blog is not about *shudder* what the Urban Dictionary thinks it is, nor will it ever be. I just had to clarify that in case you were hoping for more. Sorry to disappoint.

 Now onto spending the day with my Squishy Loves and see what kind of trouble we can get into.

 Oh and I didn't even find my blog via Google, it was probably on the 28734th page or something, and really who honestly goes past the first page?

My life in a nutshell

Ok well not in an actual nutshell...obviously. Though I do feel that sometimes I am in a nutshell in my tiny two bedroom apartment.

Ok so it's not so much the apartment as it is having two babies under two, sometimes three (if you include the husband).

I have learned why people do this the "right" way before having kids you know marriage, honeymoon, car house...the whole shebang), toddlers can only mess so much stuff up in an apartment. Were as in a house it's your own stuff, I already said goodbye to my deposit.

Yes, both of my squishy babies were happy accidents. Let me rephrase...happy accidents now, when I found out I was pregnant let's be honest I was scared out of my mind, crying, snotty nose...you know the works. How were we supposed to raise a baby? As far as my husband (then boyfriend) and I were concerned we did not want kids, guess we settled on two. Good compromise in my opinion.

So now that I have two kids and am a stay at home mom, guess what? I decided to start a blog.

So cliché right?

Whatever, you know it's the cool thing to do right now. Plus I suck at the whole baby book thing and NEVER write anything down, so this will be a good way to remember the crazy, fun, annoying stuff in my life. Sometimes I might show off the cool stuff I made, you know when the creative bug bites me, or tell about some crazy thing my Squishy girl did (my little squishy man just eats, not very impressive).

Hope you are not too terribly bored with my Squishy life.


**disclaimer, yeah I am not a crazy grammar freak (if you are more power to you) so I won't blame you if you twitch a little while reading my blog. But I promise I will use the heck outta spell/grammar check.